TO RECENT READERS
Kate and I discovered that I have had new visitors to my blog. I have to tell you, I have mixed feelings on this. When I first started out I was on blogger. But voicing my concern to her that, family and friends that I might not want to know about it might come crossed it somehow, she offered to set me up and put a password only block on it. So happily I blogged away, safely. No worries that anyone that I didn’t want to know about it would be able to find it. Well, as time passed and made some friends through their blogs, I got a little daring and they got a password. But it became a problem to use. So I got a little more daring and had Kate take it off. Now I was open to the public. But what were the chances with the billions of blogs out there that someone would happen across mine? Well, it happened. I am taking deep breaths and trying not to stress about it two much. I have had thoughts of archiving my past posts and locking them up so that only I can read them.
You see I started this blog during a very crazy time in my life. To help me get through it. Like many other bloggers have. My most personal thoughts, and fears. I didn’t start a blog to have readers. Just maybe a few friends,trusted ones. The ones I didn’t mind knowing the real truth in my life. Cause I certainly didn’t want my family to know the whole flat out truth! Let them stay in their dream worlds about me. It’s a place I can vent, blow off steam. And some of it is about them. If I want them to know I will tell them. I don’t want them to read about it lol. Now, I know I am being paranoid but, I have a very nosy family. I have made Angus swear to me he won’t even mention the word blog in front of any of them (he knows I read them but has no idea I have one) for fear that if they know about blogs that they might search around and find me somehow. Ya, paranoid, I know. there certainly is enough life events on these here pages that it wouldn’t take anyone long to figure out its me. I want to feel safe to blog about what I want to blog about.
I moved 3000 miles away to become my own person (reason #204?) And that I did. Now that I am back, I have serious fears of becoming the person that left New England years ago. A person that I didn’t really like very much. A person that was very unhappy with them self. I like who I am as a person now. Even though I have gone through some of the hardest times in my life while in California. I like who I grew up to be. Myself. Not everything every one wanted me to be, or needed me to be. Just me.
Ok, well I went off the beaten track there. What I most wanted to say was, if you happen across this blog. Please leave me a comment, and maybe HOW you came upon it! Feed my paranoid mind please. Thank you so much. Oh, and I really am not as crazy as I come across on my blog. I used to be a spoiled little princes, that got knocked of her pedestal and is struggling to get back on it. No really, that is the truth. I wanted to grow up and become my own person, I did just that. I just don’t like the consequences very much. Ya, I think that is just how Angus would describe me if someone asked LOL! What do ya think Kate?
TTFN
Posted on 02/11/05 at 02:45 PM