Was it the right decision?

Tuesday, 7:25 am

By Kate

In the department of life is never dull....

Last night the lad received a phone call from a girl he hardly knows. I could tell he was a little freaked out when he saw the caller ID. As he spoke to her, I quickly discerned that it was no ordinary phone call.

He hung up with a very disturbed look on his face. “J has gone off the rail again,” he said. Apparently J had been hanging out with this girl and had indicated to her that he was feeling extremely depressed and thinking in terms of suicide.

Well, this isn’t a new thing for J. He is severely bi-polar and every now and then his meds require a recalibration as he grows. In the main, he’s pretty well managed, but there are times he falls off the edge.

And last night was one of those times. J happens to be the lad’s best friend and this girl thought he should know about it and he could help. First order of business was to locate J and reel him in.

Now my first thought was get that boy to the hospital. But I am also aware that this boy can tend toward high drama. Ordinarily, my second thought would be to get his parents involved, but it became clear some time ago that they’ve washed their hands of him. I’m not sure why exactly. J is a good kid, he’s very bright, good student, extremely gifted in the arts arena, and just a nice kid. But one never really knows the dynamics of someone’s family life.

In any case, the kids went out on a dragnet to find J and kept the lad informed. They were going to bring him to our house so that the lad could calm him down and hopefully, figure out whether he really needed intervention or whether he was having a high drama moment.

And that’s pretty much what happened. I left the house for a while so that J wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable. The plan was for J to spend the night, but when I came back, it appeared that J was feeling quite a bit more balanced about things and they were going to go up the street to get some food in J’s belly. Pizza and conversation seemed to be the idea.

It appeared that J had a family meltdown situation and was reacting to that. After a couple of hours together, J said he’d go home and deal. The lad has pointed out to him time and again that he’s 18, he has options, and only another year to stick it out before he can be off to school to begin learning the stuff that really lights up his soul. And meanwhile, the lad said, get yer ass to the doc and get your meds checked. I don’t want to lose my best friend. I’ll even go with you. Oh, and would you please check in with me a couple of times tonight so I know you’re okay.

I was pretty jumpy about it all last night. Still not really sure if the right thing had been done. Every thing I’ve ever been taught says when someone starts talking suicide, it’s really time for intervention. The professional kind. Yet, I guess there was an intervention last night. It seemed to keep J grounded and he did go home and deal. And he did check in with the lad a couple of times. But you know, that’s a pretty frightening thing to be a part of. I still question whether, as the adult in the middle of it, I did the right thing by standing aside. And yet the kids seemed to have a handle on it and knew what to do to take care of him. J has a pretty supportive network of friends who watch out for him and keep each other informed so they can leap into action as needed, as they did last night. But I still don’t know if that was the wisest option.