The long phone call

Tuesday, 1:19 pm

By Kate

Oct

17

2006

The lad called last night and we talked for nearly two hours. This was new and different. At least, different since he’s been away. I think he’s found his groove. And he queried me as well. “Do you feel better now?” he wondered.

“Yes,” I said.

“When was the last time you cried?” he asked.

“About three weeks ago.” I said.

“Oh.”

“Does that hurt your feelings?” I asked.

“Well, no, but I didn’t think you’d get over me that quickly,” he said.

And I burst out laughing.

“Darlin,” I said, “Never doubt that I miss you like crazy. You’re never far from my thoughts and you never will be. You’re my kid. I love you just as much as I did a month ago, but I’m getting used to not having you here. Not that I love it or anything, but I’m getting used to it. How about you?”

And then he admitted that he hasn’t called very much in the last couple of months because every time he talked with me he felt so homesick afterward that it took a few days to get over it. But last night he felt ready to talk and he wanted to talk.

And talk we did. Just like old times.

He’s doing well in his school work, maintaining a B average so far. I think that’s pretty good for the first semester. He’s learning the ropes and learning how to manage his time. He’s having a really good time on the weekends and never seems to lack for a party. He’s making friends at a couple of fraternities and thinks he’ll be tapped next year. He has a girlfriend. And he said that a small campus seems to be more like high school than high school was. Cliques abound and he doesn’t like that. He never has. As per usual, he seems to be able to navigate between them and be accepted by them without being a part of them. (I love that part of his personality.) But it is a little harder there.

His girlfriend isn’t a part of the really popular girl clique although she lives on the dorm floor where most of them live. They are kind of hard on her. That irks the lad because it has very much to do with her ethnicity. “Yes,” he said, “This is a very WASP place and I don’t think a lot of the students here have ever been outside of their little WASP circles.”

“Are you going to be happy there?” I asked. “Would you be better off at a larger university?”

“No, I like it here, but sometimes my stomach cringes at the things I hear. You’ve gotta change one person at a time.”

Then he emailed me a few photos of his girlfriend and she is a knockout. And it sounds as if she’s as gorgeous in spirit as she is on the exterior. Good for him. Good for her.

Two hours passed amazingly fast. We talked about everything. And when we hung up I know we both had smiles and I know that we both felt just fine afterward. No homesickness, no tears. Just smiles. It felt really, really good.