Tastes of Tuscany

Friday, 11:59 am

By Kate

Feb

22

2008

My grocery store has recently remodeled, updated, and moved everything. Now I can’t find a thing in that store. But it sure is pretty. This week is their grand opening and the parking lot is festooned with strings of little flappy plastic flags—the kind often seen in used car parking lots. I thought that was kind of tacky, but whatever.

One of their grand improvements is a new computer system. Their cash registers now spit out coupons printed in color. With pretty graphics and all. The coupons are tailored to each individual shopper, thanks to the store rewards cards we get if we don’t want to pay the full outrageous prices. This must be a pretty good computer system because, for once, the coupons bear some resemblance to the stuff I actually buy. And color. I mentioned color, right? Dare we ponder just how much that upscale improvement is going to add to our grocery bills each week?

This week my colorful cash register coupons were all about cat food. My regular brand even. A whole $2 off a 3.3 pound bag. I’m delighted. I’ll use it.

But that coupon for Fancy Feast is something else again. I’ve never bought Fancy Feast for Abbie. Once in a great while I’ll buy her a can of Sheba, though. She thinks that’s the best stuff going and attacks it like she’d attack a mouse if she wasn’t afraid of it. I don’t give Sheba to her very often. Don’t want to spoil her too much. Besides, it’s ridiculously expensive.

This Fancy Feast coupon made me burst out laughing. The coupon is for a new line of Fancy Feast...their Elegant Medleys. I can save a whole dollar on 6 cans and my cat will love me for it because...these three new entrees are inspired by the tastes of Tuscany. Yes, that’s right. Tuscany. As if a cat would know Tuscany from Toledo. What does Tuscany taste like in cat food? The pretty color graphic on the coupon shows a fine china dish presenting the food so that it actually looks humanly appetizing...with a sprig of bright green parsley on the side. Serving suggestion, perhaps?

I think these new coupons are going to amuse me to no end. Now if they would just use those state of the art color printers to provide us with a road map showing where the heck they’ve moved everything. Really.

PS. You really need to click on the Elegant Medleys link. It’s just....well....I don’t quite know what to say. Except...have these people lost their minds? This is parody, right???