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Just a couple of golden girls
This evening, one of my friends and I went out to dinner to catch up on events. We chose our favorite stomping ground...it’s a little restaurant in the woods that caters a lot to the older crowd. She and I were among the youngest in the place. And we had a new waitress. Have never seen her before. She was probably about our age.
During the course of the meal, she gave us plenty of attention and service and was, in almost all respects, perfect. Except for one little thing that made me grind my teeth. She kept calling us “girls” and “kids” which annoyed the heck out of me. Perhaps the older clientele get a kick out of it. Or not. I’m pretty sure that in 20 years time, I still won’t like being addressed that way. It felt condescending. And if it annoyed me that much, which it did, I probably should have gently said something about it. I think. I haven’t run up against that very often and I’m not really sure what I should have said or could have said without making her feel awful, too. I suppose somewhere along the line, someone will take her to task far less kindly than anything I would have said.
At one point, I must have looked as if I was going to blow my stack. My friend reached across the table and grabbed my wrist and said, “Take a deep breath. Calmmmmm. Don’t erupt, please.” I must be somewhat transparent. I didn’t erupt, though.
Just a small irritation in the scheme of things, but I do wonder what prompts some people to speak to others that way. I’ve encountered plenty of waitresses who call me “honey” or “dear” and that doesn’t bother me a bit. It’s in the way they say it and in their attitude—no condescension at all, just their way of speaking. I can live with that. Our waitress tonight came across as extremely condescending and I did not like it.
Yeah, it would have annoyed the hell out of me too. I might have been tempted to do something unladylike. LOL I was out with a friend recently and a very young waitress called me HON all night, Hon this, hon that, about drove me nuts. Given her age, it was just a bad habit, but still......... ANd the other I hate is “folks” as in Howdy folks........no just kidding, I don’t think anyone has ever said Howdy, but I sure have heard folks!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Balmy outside today, all of 30!! Which for those of you who do not live here is a 27 degree improvement!!
It’s a sad pass when a 30 degree day feels like spring.
I hate to be old fashioned, but I still find sir and ma’am quite serviceable. If that’s too formal, just ask what we want to eat with a plain old question mark, without sticking on a hon, dear, kids, girls, or darlin, the last of which makes me want to hurl before I even eat.
Talking down to people in proportion to their age is so ingrained in our culture that few notice - until it starts happening to them.
It happens when they assume you aren’t smart enough to operate electronic devices that you helped develop and the science behind which is a mystery to their generation.
Hey, there’s an element of bravery in maintaining a love of life as your days count down to oblivion. It’s not matched by video game skills or intimate knowledge of the lives of ephemeral heart throbs. We get laxative jokes, diaper jokes, Alzheimer’s jokes and worse from kids a lot closer in time to wet diapers than we are.
But we know that time avenges us - in time, don’t we?
Many people talk down to children, too. That has always annoyed the heck out of me. Many people apparently do not know how to relate to anyone outside of their own generation.
It is obvious, however, that ageism still exists in its full glory. I have my doubts that I will be a shrinking violet in my advancing years.
Time avenges us, but we’ll be too dead to enjoy it. 
i am southern and using terms like “honey” and “hon” are so much a part of that culture, with no insult intended. actually when i use them i usually feel some level of endearment toward the recipient....someone is especially nice helping me in a store, on the phone, in a restaurant, etc. i am trying to become more aware of my use of terms like these since some people find them offensive - as if too much intimacy is assumed, perhaps.
My all-time pet peeve in restaurants is being called “guys,” especially if there isn’t even A guy at the table. It seems to happen everywhere. I’d really like to formulate some type of response, but then again I don’t want any of those server “guys” spitting in my food!