Contours would help

Saturday, 12:45 pm

By Kate

Jun

04

2005

I’ve often wondered about the boys who wear their pants so loosely that they ride around the middle of their butts. It is apparently an unwritten rule that this style of attire requires boxer shorts underneath. I applaud that choice, at least.

What I’ve often wondered, in particular, is if these boys ever lose their pants. As in...do they ever fall off? It seems to me that having a rear end would help keep the pants up, but a good many of the boys are built like boards and have no discernible contours behind on which the pants might rest.

I had to go up to the school this afternoon to pick the lad up from his second go-round with the SATs. When the test let out, a stream of young lads cruised past my car with pants at varying stages of falling-offishness. One of the built-like-a-board boys kept grabbing his waist band to hitch his pants up, every three steps.

And then it happened. He missed a step. His pants fell to his knees.

And, you know, it didn’t even phase him. He hauled ‘em up and kept on going. His body language said it was no big deal. Not a problem. A guy does what a guy has to do.

Well, at least now I know.