My new vacuum cleaner

I have a new vacuum cleaner. New to me anyway. And I have been having more fun with it, the past two days, than should be legal. For about the first time in my life, I own a vacuum cleaner that was clearly designed by someone who had actually used one more than once. That’s the short story. The fun part is how I acquired it. I’m pretty pleased with myself, if you wanna know.

Up until Friday afternoon, I owned two vacuum cleaners. And neither worked. The first one, a Eureka, more or less died a slow death a while ago. It was stuck in my closet taking up space. That’s a problem in its own right—getting rid of dead appliances around here is a costly project. The second one, a Bissell bagless cleaner, worked pretty well for two years. It had a variety of filters that required frequent cleaning and I was rather tired of that dusty, dirty job. It was a lower end model and I used the thing to death. For some time, I’d been limping along with it—the rubber band that made the carpet brush spin detached frequently, and I’d end up on the floor with a screw driver taking the thing apart to reattach the band. That little process was wearing mighty thin. And then, blessedly, the motor died about two weeks ago.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been making do with a broom, dust mop, dustpan, and my little Oreck manual sweeper—which is fine for surface dirt. But I had noticed that the dust levels in the house were increasing exponentially.

I had decided that my next vacuum cleaner was going to be a really good one. Not one picked up on sale at K-Mart. You get what you pay for. Cheaper models don’t last. Not the way I use them.

So, on Thursday night, as I was settling down to sleep, I spoke into the vast universe, “I want a new vacuum cleaner. I really need to get a new vacuum cleaner.”

Friday afternoon, two women knocked on my front door. They were offering a free chance for $1000 of groceries and a cute little air purifier. They wondered if I’d ever heard about Rainbow products. Well, no. I had not. They wondered if I ever suffered from allergies. I launched into my spiel about how my autumn allergies just about kill me. They felt my pain. One of them said, “I have the authority to make you an instant winner. Let me give you our Rainmate Air Purifier (but no groceries). It’ll make a difference in your life.”

And I thought, “Uh huh. Here it comes.”

I let them in, though. They set up that cute little air purifier and yeah, it really was cute. I liked it. And it was mine. All mine.

One thing led to another. Like...did you know we also have a line of vacuum cleaners? The great thing about them is that they are also air purifiers. They’ll do 1800 square feet of living space. Would you like to see one?

Oh, why not.

They brought the box in the house and set the vacuum cleaner up, first as the air purifier. As you might imagine, not having a vacuum cleaner for a couple of weeks, the thing extracted an embarrassing amount of dust out of the air. I was impressed. The vacuum cleaner worked even better. I liked the looks of it. I liked its maneuverability. And I liked the mechanics of it. No bags. And not your average bagless cleaner either. Oh noooo. It has a water reservoir that takes in all the crud the vacuum cleaner sucks up and the air exhaust comes out completely dust free. There’s one washable HEPA filter in it and it’s super easy to access. It was pretty slick.

Well, over the course of three hours, they cleaned my entire house and showed me how to use it. Whoo! My kitchen, my living room, my stairs, my bathroom, two bedrooms, and even my sofa got the treatment. I loved it. The machine is lightweight, super easy to maneuver, and it’s not an attachment nightmare. And wow does it extract dirt. I really lovvvvvved it.

Somewhere in the process I asked, “So how much does this thing cost?”

One of the women said, “Oh, I can’t tell you that right now. Let’s wait until after the presentation.”

Uh-huh. In other words, really expensive.

Did I mention that the thing also shampoos the carpets? Better than my Bissell steam cleaner. Yep.

Finally, they finished cleaning my house for me. Then it was time to talk.

“So, how do you like it?” one of the women asked.

“Oh, I really, really like it,” I said. “How much is it?”

She hedged a bit. I asked a few more questions and she pulled out her cell phone. “I’m kind of new at this,” she said. “Let me call my boss.”

Just so happened, the boss was close by. How incredibly convenient. The sale closer, I suspected.

He arrived a few minutes later and boy oh boy what a salesman. Definitely the sale closer. He flattered me every which way. “I have to ask. How old are you? You don’t look a day over 30. You look so young.”

“Sweetheart, I have a 20 year old son. Thirty came and went a long time ago. But thank you. How much is this vacuum cleaner?”

He whizzed through the features, selling points, and what a dependable machine it was and slipped in at the end, “All that for only $2400!”

“You have got to be kidding,” I said.

He told me again what a great machine this was, but added, “Because you’re so nice, I think I can sweeten the deal for you.”

“You’d better make it incredibly sweet.”

“How about if I throw in another air purifier, some cleaning agents, and drop the price to $1900?”

“I’m much nicer than that, don’t you think?”

“Well,” he asked, “What do you think this amazing vacuum cleaner/carpet shampooer/air purifier is worth?”

“You really want to know?” I said, “I’d maybe pay $600 for it. If you threw all the other stuff in with it and took my two vacuum cleaners away with you. What’s its wholesale price?”

“Kate, Kate, Kate,” he mourned. “We have to eat too, you know.”

His cell phone rang and he indicated that this was going to take a few minutes. Why didn’t I think about it while he talked.

GREAT! I dashed out of the room and fired up the laptop. Did a google search for Rainbow vacuum cleaners and found out all the particulars. They are, without a doubt, really fine vacuum cleaners. They last forever. People who own them are pretty devoted. The reviews are mostly fabulous, with the few who got tired of the water reservoir filling and emptying and annoyance that they paid such a steep price. They are definitely high end vacs. Most people buy them new in a cost range of $1600-$2200, depending on haggling skills. They are only sold door to door, like Kirby vacs (and let it be said, I was suckered into that mistake about 12 years ago. Great cleaning machine, but weighed more than I do and I hated it and got rid of it.). But, several reviewers stated, the best deal is a used Rainbow. You can often get them in the $400-$800 range with a several year warranty. They’ll last for 20+ years and they rarely break down. They are excellent cleaning machines and definitely advantageous for anyone with allergies. Cool.

I went back to the kitchen with a new idea.

“So, Kate, what are your thoughts? Are you ready to join our family and improve your life and make your environment healthier?”

“Yes,” I said, “Do you have a used one I can buy?”

Dead silence.

“Look,” I said, “I love this machine. But I’m just not going to spend $2400 or $1900 or even $1600. That’s crazy money. You guys have spent the better part of a business day in my house cleaning it from top to bottom and you should get something out of it. I’d like one of these cleaners, but I want a used one. If you can’t do that for me, then we can’t do business. I’m sorry. I can buy a used one online. I sincerely appreciate all the cleaning you’ve done for me today, though.”

“I’m sorry, Kate, I can’t do that,” he said. “You’d be missing a great opportunity here. A nice girl like you deserves a new Rainbow. We can work something out. We have very reasonable payment plans.”

I shook my head.

He packed up his stuff and shook my hand. The woman (the other one went out to rest her weary bones in the truck) also shook my hand and looked sad. They headed to the front door taking their boxes with them. He turned at the door and looked at me. “I hate to leave like this, Kate,” he said. “Are you sure?” I nodded.

Oh well. Sigh.

Around 6:00, the guy was back knocking on my door.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “You really are a nice lady and....” (So much for looking 30 years young....)

Well, long story a little shorter, he sold me a used machine with a 4 year all parts and labor warranty as long as I don’t drop it out the window or beat it with a baseball bat. There is a Rainbow-certified repair shop a couple of miles from here. That’s a plus, just in case. The carpet shampoo thingy wasn’t included at sale, but he said he’d bring one to me next week. I don’t really care about that, but I’ll take it if he gets around to it. I bought it at a very good price. And he took my two dead vacuum cleaners away with him.

I am very pleased. My new used machine has been gently used. I took it apart to inspect the HEPA filter and another little spinning gizmo that both need to be cleaned from time to time. They showed some use, but not that much. I’m not sure if it was a demo or a returned machine from someone who decided that emptying and refilling the water reservoir was a royal pain in the behind. But it’s nice. And it could suck all the hair off a cat. It’s powerful and I cannot believe how much sand and stuff is embedded in my carpets. It’s kind of scary how much my other vacuum cleaners didn’t get out. Or...horrifying. I have had a blast the past couple of days with my brand new used vacuum cleaner. Oh, I really have. This one is just great and it’s so easy to use. And no dust. I absolutely love it. Score another one for the 90% project, too. I did think of that.