Bumper butt

I had to go to the grocery store tonight. Usually a trip through the grocery store is a benign sort of experience. As it was tonight. Until I reached the checkout counter.

There was a woman in front of me who didn’t impress me as being anything out of the ordinary. I waited for her to transact her business as I leaned against the front of my carriage consulting my list to make sure I had everything. All of a sudden, my carriage lurched backward into my diaphragm and I let out an “Ouf” while my pen nearly went up my nose. The woman in front of me had bent over to pick something up off the floor and her rear end had slammed into my carriage.

I moved back a little bit.

Not more than a few seconds later, she bent over again to stick something on the shelf under her carriage. Once again, she rear ended me and this time the right wheel of my carriage went up and over my foot. And, you know, there had to have been at least 3 1/2 feet between us. It took talent to do what she did.

But then. Then she turned to me with flaming red cheeks and LOUDLY said to me, with her hands on her hips, “I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t run into me with your cart again. That’s twice you’ve done it.”

Holy crow. The only thing I could think to say was, “We’re not sharing the same reality, are we?” The look she gave me should have melted glass.

The nasty things I wanted to say just didn’t come out until I was in my car on the way home. Her ears should be little smoking cinders on the floor by now.