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dramadramadramadammit

Last night the lad went to a birthday bash after work. Sometime just before 1 AM his step-mom left a most uncharacteristic message on his cell phone’s voice mail. When he came home, he let me listen to it. I thought...uh oh, this isn’t going to end well.

This morning, the step-mom called me. I looked at the caller ID and thought, “Oh, I really don’t want to answer this.” But I did.

So the long and the short of it is, someone in that household is suffering empty nest syndrome. Massively. The step mom begged me....BEGGED, with about 15 pleases strung together...to please let the lad come stay at their house for the month of August. I’ve talked with her a number of times, but she has never sounded frantic like this.

I asked some pointed questions. She answered them. She admitted that things are rough at the moment. She was hoping that a month with the lad would help. She was hoping that I’d agree.

Well, I think she understands pretty clearly that I’m not jumping up and down with joy, but I told her I’d give it my blessing if the lad agreed. They could work out the details.

He and I talked it over and he said he’d go. He hopes to make his Dad feel better and get past this. It’s hard and I certainly have a huge amount of sympathy for anyone going through it. I was a complete and utter basket case last fall. I had never felt so horrible...so bleak...in my entire life. It seems to hit in different stages with different people. The news has been relayed and there is much rejoicing in Dadville today.

Sooo...the lad is giving his two week notice at work today and that’ll give him the last week of July to get his stuff here all together and packed and ready to go.

Am I happy? No, I’m not. But, as I said to the lad, I was a little surprised that no one mentioned splitting the summer before summer actually began. I guess the idea of working seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much now. Whatever wages he loses for the last week of July and through August will be made up by the other parental units. He’s being a pretty good sport about it, being concerned and all. These sudden changes in plans drive me crazy, though. But, whatever. Done is done. He leaves here on August 1.

Posted on 07/07/07 at 04:47 PM
 




dK

The Italians must be on to something—I understand sons routinely don’t leave home until their late 20s, with all parties concerned completely happy with that arrangement.

While overall, you post is sad in a bittersweet sort of way, but the upshot is that your boy must not be lacking for family love in his life, and in the final analysis, that can only be a good thing.

United States   Posted by dK on 07/08/07  at  07:45 PM





Kate

Yes, dk, I am sad. Can’t deny it. But I agree that the lad is one very fortunate young man to have two families who love him very much. I’ve always made sure that he acknowledged how fortunate he was in that regard when so many of his friends don’t even have that much with both parents under the same roof. His Dad has been a constant in his life. Always.

But I’m not generous enough right now to be any kinder. A few things have come to light since yesterday. I’m pretty upset. Katie was played.

I’m such a sap.

It’s funny. I have a friend who thinks I’m nuts. To her, freedom is another word for No More Kids. Oh well.

My boy wrapped his arms around me this evening and said, “I love you, Mom. You know that this will always be my home. Wherever you are is where home is.” He knows how to make his mom smile.

And he and I both know that I’ll be fine. While I love having him home, I love him being out in the world, wherever that takes him, too. It’s just a little unsettling and difficult to let him go a month earlier than expected, under the circumstances. We had some really cool plans that will have to be saved for another time.

United States   Posted by Kate on 07/08/07  at  08:51 PM





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