Cold, CSA's, Attitudes, and Girls

Today is cold again. A mere 51° F. I’m dressed to the teeth in layers. When I stopped to get gasoline this morning, there was a fellow on the other side of the pump wearing a summery short sleeved peach cotton shirt. He rubbed his hands together and said, “There’s a cool sea breeze this morning.”

“Yeah, it’s cold, isn’t it?,” I said. My teeth were on the verge of chattering.

“Oh, I like it,” he said. “This is ideal weather.”

Who am I to tell him what’s ideal. Sure isn’t for me, but he looked happy and warm in his summery short sleeved shirt.

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“Believe me, Wednesday is closer to Friday than you think.”

Words of encouragement from a WBUR (NPR) radio announcer during the summer fundraiser. Dunno why, but it made me laugh.

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Happy discovery! After running across the term “CSA” several times in the last couple of days, I finally did a Google search and learned that the abbreviation stands for Community Supported Agriculture. Across this country (and the world) there are a growing number of small farms that are community supported by subscription paying members who are entitled to a share of the harvests each growing season. Most of the farms, I believe, follow sustainable farming practices. Some are certified organic, while others haven’t gone through the certification process, but, for all intents and purposes, are organic or are transitioning to organic practices. There is one practically in my back yard called Long Hill Farm. I didn’t even know they existed until yesterday. I’ll go out sometime in the next few days to see what they’re all about. They also have a farm stand for those who choose not to buy a subscription. It’s a good idea, though. The subscription fees assure the farms of a reliable income to put into seeds, equipment maintenance, labor and other operating expenses. The produce is fresher, more wholesome, and less expensive than supermarket produce. You can find out if there is a CSA Farm near you.

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I stumbled over a new blog last night called No Impact Man. It’s a blog about a man, his wife, and small daughter who live in New York City. They have embarked on a no impact lifestyle which includes no trash, no household electricity, no vehicles, no mail order, and etc. He’s a professional writer and his blog reflects it. It’s sometimes funny, sometimes serious, and engaging all the way through. I started from the beginning (February 2007) and read all the way through last night. He and his wife have embarked on an experimental year of leaving little to no footprint on earth while living in the city. It’s not an experiment for the faint of heart. But they seem to be really into it and it’s fascinating to see how someone else manages to do, with a sense of humor, what the rest of us think we couldn’t possibly do and might actually perish if we did.

What interests me, beyond what he says and does, are some of the hostile responses that their experiment has generated in his blog comments. There really is something about extreme actions for laudable reasons, that sets people off. Maybe it yanks them out of their comfort zones or something? Does it make people feel threatened? I don’t understand the response. Some of the attitudes range from you are nuts and I hate you to you think you’re so hot, but here’s where you’re not pure, so you’re a stinking fraud.

You think you have a basic grasp of humanity, and then you run across something like this. It is a curious dynamic, to be sure.

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The lad and I have had a couple of discussions about women this past week. My simple advice to him was “Girls are complicated. Get used to it.” I presume many women would find that offensive, but after having watched him navigate the waters of feminine behavior, I am truly convinced that guys’ brains simply do not work anything like a girl’s. It’s an interesting perspective for me. I have actually learned a lot about male thought processes from observing and talking with the lad. Girls want guys to think like girls and it isn’t ever gonna happen. Expecting that to happen is what creates complications.

A couple of nights ago, one of lad’s female friends came over with another female friend. She wanted to discuss relationships. In particular, her ex-relationship with the lad’s best friend. Those are dicey waters, I said. Be careful.

His first mistake was telling her that he didn’t want to get in the middle of their relationship woes because he likes them both and he didn’t want to choose sides. Which was evidence that he had already taken sides or else he’d talk with her about it.

Didn’t he know that they’d been deeply in love?

His second mistake was saying, “No.”

What did he mean, no?  Was she that unimportant that he and his best friend never discussed her?

In the interest of being direct, he said, “Well, basically, yeah. We mentioned you then watched movies and ate pizza.”

What did he mean that he just mentioned her and then ate pizza? Wasn’t she his friend, too? Didn’t he care about her feelings?

Feeling a little desperate, he told her that her relationship with his best friend wasn’t his business. If his friend was happy, he assumed everything was fine. And frankly he wasn’t all that interested in knowing the intimate details.

Intimate details? You mean you talk about that?

She burst into loud sobs. (Boy, were they loud.)

Her friend said, “Oh, now you’ve done it.”

They trundled down the stairs and out the front door.

The lad came down and said, “Well, I don’t think I’ll be seeing her for the rest of the summer. I put my foot in it and hurt her really badly. She said our friendship was over and she never wanted to see me again.” He felt pretty sad.

Last evening the lad’s cell phone rang. Shortly after, he came in and said, “You know when you told me girls are complicated? Well, A just invited me over to her house to watch movies. I don’t get it.”

He went and had a great time. They’re good buds again. He still doesn’t understand it. What’s kind of alarming is that I do.