Predators

Last night, while my classmates and I were working on our stained glass project, conversation turned to current events—namely, the Foley scandal. There were ten of us in the class, two men and eight women; 4 were teachers, 3 without kids, 4 with teenagers, and 3 with smaller children. From conversation, I’d say we represented a fairly broad spectrum of political views.

Every last one of us was appalled and angry with the Foley situation and the subsequent public battling over it. Every last person vigorously agreed that the spin we’ve been hearing this week to save various congress critters’ behinds is just as disgusting as Foley’s predation. You don’t protect child predators or hide their activities from public view. For any reason. To do so is called enabling the predator. Not one person in the group conceived of 16 year olds as anything other than children. A few mentioned their political views in general terms—liberal, moderate, conservative—by way of saying this shouldn’t be a partisan issue. This is a human being, decency, and trust issue. People with kids have a hard enough time trying to keep them safe in a world that is not safe.

The message that 16 is the age of consent and, therefore, nothing illegal took place was not going over well with this group of 10 people. As one of the self-described conservatives in the group said, “People send their kids to the page program with the expectation that the people in charge will provide a safe and wholesome environment. The people in charge are taking the place of parents for minors and have the responsibility for making damned sure that even higher standards of safety and protection are enforced.” The behavior on Capitol Hill, this week, and in some segments of the media, have rattled a lot of parents. It hits home really hard because any of our kids could have or may yet become the prey of some predator and no parent wants to imagine their child being in the situation where they are not only preyed upon, but that people in authority who have any inkling of it do absolutely nothing about it. That scares parents to the marrow.

This is an issue that deeply resonates with me on at least two different levels. Obviously having raised a child, and many of you have read about my ups and downs and concerns of raising a teen over the past few years, putting the lad in the place of one of the pages who were approached/contacted by Foley fills me revulsion and fury. I know kids. I know what being 16 is like from a boy’s perspective as well as from my own perspective. They do not always make wise choices nor do they always know how to cope with a situation that scares them or makes them very uncomfortable. Especially when it has to do with sex or unwanted advances. That’s why kids are much easier to prey on than adults. When there is an authority figure who preys on kids, it’s even worse. And, I’d imagine that with all the power swirling around the halls of Congress, that’s about the worst place in the world to be a kid being preyed on by a powerful authority figure. I feel so sorry for these kids and I’m absolutely livid with the leadership who are scrambling like rodents to cover their asses.

Long ago and far away, I was molested by a much loved and respected 40-something music teacher. When I was 13 years old and in 7th grade. He invited me to his classroom to help turn music pages while he practiced on the piano. This was an honor that we all hoped to be chosen for. And it got us out of study hall. On the day that he handed me my pass to leave study hall, I was thrilled to death. Walking into his room, he got up from his desk and moved the piano so that the back of it faced the classroom door and I didn’t think anything of it. We sat on the music bench and he played the piano while I turned pages. And then he asked if I could play the piano. Yes, of course, I’d been playing the piano for several years at that point. He seemed very interested in that and invited me to play saying that if I played well enough, he might consider having me accompany the choir in the next recital. Oh the incredible honor! I started playing the piano and the next thing thing I knew, he had his hands all over me. He left no stone unturned. I was in shock and scared out of my entire range of wits. When he was finished, he thanked me for playing the piano for him and that was it. I left.

And I proceeded to tell my best friend who told another friend who told another friend.... It wasn’t very long before several girls, a couple of them older than I, privately contacted me to let me know that they’d suffered the same thing. One on her own property where the teacher had been given rights to go fishing. She went with him because everyone trusted and loved him.

My parents were appalled, of course. My mother wondered why I didn’t get up and run away. I didn’t really know. I’m sure my brain was on overload and I was scared and I just didn’t know why I didn’t run away. My father talked with the school board president. And I’m not sure who all was involved, but the final consensus was that they’d talk with the teacher (AGAIN!), keep a closer eye on him and not make it public because, naturally, it was a small town and no one wanted our names dragged through the mud because it would be our word against the teacher’s and the town virtually worshipped the ground he walked on.

I never allowed myself to be alone with him again, but I still had to be around him for the next two years. I hated him and I hated when he looked at me with that knowing smirk on his face. And I especially hated how people thought he was so wonderful and how he raked in honor after honor for being such an advocate for young people and a stalwart of his church. He did ask me to accompany the choirs on the piano that year and offered me a place in one of the higher echelon choirs. I always felt they were both bribes. I hated him for that, too.

He was, a couple of years later, promoted to vice principal. Nothing like being rewarded for being a predator. It wasn’t until I was in college that I learned he had left the school system under mysterious circumstances. Nothing was ever made public about the reasons, but he disappeared. I presume his behavior finally became too egregious to hide.

That was my introduction to power and the fine art of covering asses to protect those who didn’t want to jeopardize their positions with a big fat scandal. I often wonder how many other children he molested before and after. He’s dead now, and good riddance, but there are many others who have taken his place on earth as child predators. They are the lowest form of life for what they take and what they leave behind. They don’t stop and their predation gets worse over time. They deserve no protection of any kind and anyone who tries joins the predators in the ranks of lowest forms of life.

What else is there to say about it? I would like to see the entire Congress purged of anyone who preys on kids. I don’t care what party they belong to. And that goes for anyone who tries to keep it a secret. Kids talk, people knew. No one anywhere should get a pass for that or be allowed to dodge responsibility by blaming everyone else. Anyone who does is unadulterated scum. The ONLY thing to do is to immediately stop predators in their tracks and protect the kids. PERIOD.