I am so glad that tomorrow is the first day of school for the grandkids. My kids all left home years ago, the oldest is 33 and the youngest is 27.

I’ve forgotten where the lad is going to school. One thing I did do for my kids was get a phone number in their local calling area, so they could call for free. I had an 800 number before, but this time I have Vonage and get a $5 a month virtual phone number. I have one set up for my parents as well.

Sounds like a plan to me, lots of good plans.........just know we are all here if you need a shoulder and are more than willing to listen, offer up advice, good or bad or just be here if you need us.  (To all of Kate’s groupies:  I hope you don’t mind me speaking for all of you--but I feel confident that you are all going to tell her the same thing...)

Don’t just buy lots of socks, pick up LOTS of underwear too.........after hearing stories of people (male people, I don’t think any woman would ever even consider doing it) turning it wrongside out so they could get more time out of them, I can assure you my two went off with enough to go for MONTHS before they had to do laundry.  I still shudder when I think about it. 

When my older one and his best buds moved into an apartment on campus, they lucked out with 5 girls upstairs.  He liked to cook, some of them did not mind doing laundry so they worked out a deal for some of the time..........or so he told me!!

word was tarragon and yes, he most likely used that too!!

Yes, bought lots of underwear, too. Almost enough to last to Halloween.

He does know how to do laundry and has been doing his own for the last two years. He’s learned how to separate darks from lights and how to wash brand new items alone so they don’t bleed all over the other clothes. So, yes, he knows how to do laundry. But...will he do it before Halloween? ;)

Thanks for your shoulder, Cyn. It *really does* help. I’m like a sponge right now, soaking every bit of shoulder and advice and concern and anything else in. I feel so AWFUL!

This is old fashioned grieving and there is nothing to do but go through it however much I don’t wanna.  Apparently it is about as normal as can be—there’s certainly enough out there written about it. I truly am not a freak of nature and it helps a very small bit to know that there are actually hundreds of thousands of other Moms and Dads going through the exact same thing this week and next week and the week after. Some college orientation programs even have parent seminars to address the grieving and letting go process, complete with boxes of kleenex to pass around. Honest to God.

This hurts like hell and I hate every second of it. I know what it feels like right now, but I have no idea what Thursday will be like or next week or the month after. Sounds like it might take a while before the sudden unexpected tears die down, though the worst of it should pass in a couple of weeks. I will get through it and I will end up a new person. It’s unavoidable and kind of interesting to contemplate. I wish it didn’t have to hurt so bad, though.

Meanwhile, there’s also my concern for the lad’s quick adjustment, any unexpected homesickness, and all the rest. I want to remind him to take a few things from home that are familiar...a favorite mug, favorite drinking glass and favorite bowl. Little things that might help. I think he’ll do okay, though, as long as he knows the cell phone and email are there when needed or wanted. And digital pictures are always a plus.

Sue, he’s going to Lafayette in Pa. If I had comcast or Verizon’s FIOS, I’d *love* to get Vonage, but I’ve heard it doesn’t work very well with DSL. My DSL is kind of pokey compared to comcast broadband. At the moment, the cell phones offer free night minutes starting at 7PM, including long distance, so that’s a pretty good deal for now, although $5 for a virtual phone number kind of makes me wince. That would be nice.

On laundry: I lived in a fraternity house from the second week I was a freshman, but I imagine it holds true for dorms, too.  There are never enough machines for the number of people needing to use them, and inevitably some klutz goes off and leaves his stuff in either the washers or dryers long after it’s done.  Thus it becomes an absolute pain in the backside to try to wash clothing “in-house.”

So why not go to a laundromat?  Well, if you’re without transportation, you’ve got to persuade somebody else that it’s a good idea, and further persuade him/her that sitting around a hot steamy room (did I mention the noise?) for a couple of hours is a good way to spend some free time.

Thus, laundry does not get done on a timely basis, which compounds the problem, because the more it accumulates the heavier it becomes when it becomes impossible to ignore.

One of the joys of moving back here in 1978 was having a washer/dryer in the house, after living in dorms/apartments for 10 years without either.  I wash every week, with no complaints.

Kate, you will do just fine (and don’t forget to check out my friend - Noel-- the Yoga teacher--I think she is still doing things in your area!!--it will help!!).  The key to all of this is to have a LIFE that doesn’t always involve your kids and the transition is so much easier.  You have interests and plans and things you have put off, so for you it is simply that, a time of transition and something to, once the initial upset lessens - to look forward to.  It is those who never got involved in anything - no volunteer work, no part time jobs, no hobbies, nothing, that suffer the most.  But you, I have no doubt, will cope with this just fine!!

I’ve always made time for myself and so yes, I have a lot of interests. Some have been dormant for several years, but they’re still there. I’ve been thinking ahead and fleshing out some ideas. It’s going to be initially difficult every time I pass the lad’s empty room or even one of his friends on the street, but I think I’ll be okay.

The quote of the week:

“Mom, when I come home the first time, there isn’t going to be a flowered comforter on my bed is there? Please don’t go get a flowered comforter for my bed!”

Good lord. There isn’t a flowered comforter anywhere in my future. Promise!

Linkmeister - your laundry tales would probably have been and may still be somewhat universal. It would thus explain why my brother MAILED his laundry home once a month and why my mother actually did it for him. And mailed it back to him.

There appears to be a rather modern, large, and brightly lit laundry room in the basement of the lad’s dorm. Security cameras and the whole smash. Coed dorm so that might account for some of it. Hopefully it will be used at least every couple of weeks. I did mention that it might be a really good place to meet girls.

Might be?  Might be?

Of course, there’s the initial embarrassment of each party’s frillies in plain view of a member of the opposite sex, but it’s all part of growing up.

[Of course, there’s the initial embarrassment of each party’s frillies in plain view of a member of the opposite sex, but it’s all part of growing up]

Oh wait.........maybe that is the real reason they need so many socks and boxers..........they wash everything else, but don’t bring those for fear of embarassment.  On my, I never considered that...........;)

I think it’s good for them to know they’ll be missed.  And I think it’s good for them to go.

Cas

Are guys bashful about flashing their boxers around? They always seem so willing to let them hang out. 

Cassie - yes, it’s good for them to go. It would be nice if it was easier, though.