Dad miss their kids, too. It’s just different.

My other told me that when they drove away after helping me to get moved into my first college dorm, my father broke down into tears and cried for the first two hours of the 8 hours drive home. My Dad never cries.

captcha: river

Proofreading is essential.

Other = Mother.

Sheesh.

well, most dads--at least the one in my house--would say something similar (running up the electric bill), but when he dropped the oldest one off at SU (at the very tender age of 17!), he admitted (finally) (and probably after a few ‘ritas) that it was the absolute hardest thing he had ever done--he said driving off and leaving him was incredibly difficult.  I did not go for three reasons:  (1) I had a 10 year old at home; (2) there was NO room left in the car; and (3) I had to go to a funeral.  So, I got to watch them drive off and then I cried and cried............

Now when the second one was ready, I think he helped him pack weeks before he left--LOL Actually, he went to Olympia, WA for his freshman year so we basically loaded the car and sent him on his way!! I don’t recall too many tears, but there might have been a few...;)

This might make you chuckle through the tears though.  After R’s first year at SU, my husband and younger son rented a van in the spring to go up and bring him back with ALL the junk he had accumulated that would not fit in the car.  you’ll see--they go off with a certain amount, you visit, and take what they forgot, they come home and decide they can’t live without whatever, you visit and take more--a vicious cycle!!  SO, what managed to fit in a car going, just never makes it coming back.  ANyway, they went off to get him and bring him home for the summer....Got back to MA around 3AM, E tumbled off the van half asleep, ran into the house, grabbed me and said, “mom, quick, quick, which is it--is it, right is wrong, left is right?? WHICH ONE IS IT, QUICK.  Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about.  Finally he said EARS Mom, EARS--which one is ok to be pierced, which one isn’t.  I howled.  Cause of course, back then anyway, one of the (many) rites of passage for guys during their freshman year at college was getting an ear pierced and the younger one was terrified his brother might have had the wrong one done.  Of course now it matters not, but to a 10 year old at that time, he was scared to death..............  As I recall, it was the left ear!!  Anyway, hope it makes you smile a little!!

Even dads get the blues. My older son is a year from college and I miss him already. It’s not the prospect of college so much as the turning of another page in life. As with a good book, I am curious to see how it turns out but don’t want it ever to end.

Well, we had a very nice wallow tonight.  The two lads thought it was hysterical and the other lad’s Dad looked very nervous, but allowed as how this is going to be tough and he figures it won’t hit him until he’s put his son on the airplane. Then it’ll hammer him. He’s not looking forward to it.

Jen, that’s a sweet story. I’m glad to hear stories like that.  Dads and their daughters are pretty special.

I know my brother was thrown for a loop, but he rarely expressed it. He admitted much later that sending his youngest off just about flattened him and bothered him for the better part of a year.

Cyn, LOL! The worries of a 10 year old. How did he react to suddenly being an ‘only child’? Man, my brother left home when I was only 7 and it was terrible. I cried for days. I lived for Thanksgiving that first year.

I know how you feel, Bob. The last year goes awfully fast. When the lad started his senior year there were a little over 11 months before college. It seemed like a lot of time. Those months just melted away. You’re right though, it’s as much about the next phase in our lives as it is watching them grow up and leave and missing them terribly. It’s suddenly a whole different focus. I hope you and your older son have a wonderful senior year though. And savor every second and take lots and lots and lots of pictures.

How did the 10 year old react???  He hated it, absolutely hated it cause his brother and his brother’s friends were like an extended family.  I am not sure he has ever forgiven him for leaving him to our mercy either.......seriously, he felt like it was a betrayal.  How could he leave and live somewhere else!! 

And I remember him saying on more than one occasion that during the day it was fine cause he was busy, but he hated being in the house at night with no one around...and as he got older, felt we were too aware of what he was up to whereas if the brother and friends were here, he would have gotten away with more!!  Yup!! 

ANd of course, I have never been able to convince him that FOUR kids were MY heart’s desire, but that like lots of things, you can’t always have what you want!!

Glad last night was a good one--the next few weeks will be tough ones, you will think you have suddenly turned into a classic manic depressive.  Really!!  Your highs will be high and your lows will consist of a fair amount of wallowing!!  But in the end, it is exactly as Bob stated, just another phase in your lives.  Before you know it, you will be waking each day with that “what neat thing can I do today or what exciting or different thing is going to happen today” feeling.  And that is a good thing!!  You need these few weeks to wallow, it isn’t a bad thing at all.

Personally, I think it is harder when they come home for an extended period, like Christmas, and then they leave, that was harder on me the first time I think.  Summer was different cause by then they have become very independent and it is as exhausting as it is anything else having them there.  Ahhhhh, but you love them warts and all and I would not have traded it for anything!!

Senior year really did sneak up on us didn’t it! I got a little taste of GC1 flying the coupe when she went back to Cali for a few weeks! NOT good lol. I wanted to call her at least three times a day. I was good and only called her once a week Funny, GC2 was gone around the same time and I didn’t have the same separation anxiety lol. It could have been that, 1) She called every day and most nights, just as I was falling asleep. 2) She will be here another four years. 3) Another four years of “The Drama” that is her life. 4) The DRAMA!
GC1 was so easy and drama free lol. I will miss her when she does go. And this whole thing with her flying off sometime in the near future has me just in a tither about BC, only seven years and my baby will be gone! That’s not a long time. I know how fast seven years can go bye! Seven. Yeash. My baby. Ok have to stop or I am going to cry.

And you know, J, the older they get, the faster the time flies. This week seemed like an eternity away, even 4 years ago. Take lots of pictures. They help a lot when you’re allowing yourself to wallow in the depths. When BC leaves, it’s gonna be a shock.

I’d like to convince myself that next week isn’t any different than when the lad went to New Orleans or the variety of other long vacations in the past. I got used to that and it didn’t bother me. There is a different psychology to this, but the day to day reality is not going to be any different. He will be gone for long stretches, and, as always, he’ll forget to call home. The convincing part isn’t working very well, but at least I can see the similarities which tell me that once I get used to it, I’ll be just fine.

Cyn, I remember feeling betrayed when my brother left home. Abandoned! How could he?! And, of course, suddenly being the ‘only child’ I couldn’t get away with anything. But you know what was worse? His wedding day. That was the day he became a different family and kind of removed from my family. That was just the pits.

Yeah, okay....is the wedding the next horrible emotional hurdle? I want to be prepared for that possibility.

I am bouncing between extremes already. One minute I think I’ve come to grips with it and look forward to doing some different things. The next minute I look at something that reminds me of..well...anything...and I’m suddenly sobbing. It’s just back and forth and back and forth. I really wanted to enjoy the last week with him, but I am telling you, I am NOT enjoying feeling like this. Crap.

[Yeah, okay....is the wedding the next horrible emotional hurdle? I want to be prepared for that possibility.]

Oh yeah, that is a biggie........when you realize he loves someone more than you--actually the first serious g’friend is a tough one, too.  I remember the first time it hit me.  We were at one of the many Senior banquets (high school), she was a cheerleader, he was a jock (yadda yadda yadda)--she was late, he was worried, she came running in, all teary eyed, had had a fender bender on the way, and there they stood, he with his arms around her comforting her - I did not know whether to laugh or cry.  I think I laughed though cause inside I was thinking, I still do his laundry, make dinners and you are looking for comfort from him.......hell, he is just a baby himself.  But of course, he wasn’t!! 

Pending marriage was a little tough, thank goodness we absolutely adore his wife and loved her practically from the first moment we met her.  SHe is such a sweetheart so it hasn’t hurt nearly as much as it might have!!  But, you have time to get ready for that one..........My older waited til he was 30 and am assuming the other will be at least as old before he succumbs too........maybe older.

He tells me that when he brings *the one* home to meet me for the first time, he’s going to put a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table in front of us and leave us until it’s gone. By then, he said, we will be best friends. That could work. 

tequila is better...........my litmus test was, “do you share my love of margaritas?” and when the answer was YES!!  I knew we were golden.........

In fact, she just invited me to DC for a “girls” weekend and said, we can laugh, drink a lot of margaritas, shop, do whatever.  Now, does it get any better than that?  SO, when I get back from SF, I am going!!