Cider Press Hill

Reclaiming my house

It is the oddest thing. The lad has been away for two weeks and will be gone another two weeks. My mind says “this is what it’s going to be like from the end of August until forever.” And while sometimes that is a freaky thought that sends little shocks to my nerve endings, I find that I’m beginning to plan as if he isn’t here anymore. It’s as if his return home from the middle of July until the last week of August is vacation and something to be planned around. In my mind, I think that I’ve already had him leave home. Something has definitely changed in the last week. When I talk with him on the phone it’s as if he doesn’t live here anymore and we’re just catching up on what the other is doing...adult to adult. That was a brand new development that took me by surprise. But I like it.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve been in a gradual process of reclaiming my house. For me and not with an eye toward accommodating the lad. Sometimes that feels strange (and a little guilt inducing), but mainly it feels good. There’s nothing big happening, but bit by bit, I’m rearranging patterns and habits that have been dormant for a long time. My house, my way.

It’s still a rather new feeling and I haven’t gotten used to it yet—I still find myself glancing at the clock thinking “he’s going to be coming in the door any minute” and then realize...no, he’s not. But more and more often, I find myself thinking that in another month, I can can move this, throw that out, put this away, pack these up...and on and on. Some of it I can do now.

I’m still not convinced that I’m ready for this empty nest thing, but all indications seem to suggest that it’s not going to be as bad as I thought. If anything, it seems to be growing on me, incrementally. I’m not look back, but looking forward with some amount of pleasant anticipation. I’m surprised at myself.

In unrelated news—the rain has finally stopped falling. And, after several days of ghastly humidity, that, too, is dropping. I can literally feel the air drying out and turning crisper this afternoon. That’s relative, of course. Eighty percent humidity isn’t exactly dry, but surely feels like it after the past week. I’m not sticking to everything this afternoon and the walls and floors have lost their tacky feeling. This is such a welcome improvement and it may even last for several days. Man, that would be a relief. I want to go outside and do gardening stuff—not only catch up, but start new projects, too. So far this summer, outdoor work has mainly been a matter of catching up on the basics between deluges.

And...today was trash day. My favorite day of the week. Strangers take anything away that I drag out to the curb. What a deal. It’s a good thing the lad wasn’t here this morning. He’ll never miss what I dispatched to the curb this morning, but I can guarantee that it would have been dragged straight back into the house if he had been here. Heh.

Posted on 06/29/06 at 02:17 PM
 




cyn

I have known a few women (never men) who suffered from the empty nest syndrome, but the majority do not and the difference I have seen is that those who have other interests, who are not so wrapped up in their kids that they have not left time to be themselves are the ones who, like you, have had a slight sense of anticipation and eagerness to see what is around the next corner.  The few that felt otherwise were women who basically had NO life, who were so focused on their kids they were blown away when they left--and those are the kids who never wanted to go back home too........(even I was like that when I left home, I could not wait to get out and never went back to live, not for a minute).  You have lots going on, lots of interests and this is just another stage of your life and one, I think, you will embrace with your usual enthusiasm!!  The harder part for you will be when he comes home for an extended length of time--Christmas breaks, summers, if he does.  Cause then you will wonder what happened to your routine!!  But in a few days, you both settle into something that works for you both.  And before you know it, he is off again. 

SUN this morning, cold though right now (55!!), but sun, and blue sky.  WHOOHOOO!!  2 days in a row, what did we do to deserve this........and it might actually last??  Enjoy!!

United States   Posted by cyn on 07/01/06  at  06:55 AM





Kate

Well, let’s hope it goes that way. On the other hand, I know that the part about having to rearrange lifestyles when he comes home for vacations and visits is going to be interesting after I’ve become SET IN MY WAYS. Oh lord, I can just see it now. When do kids officially become like houseguests and while glad to see them arrive, you’re also glad to see them leave? I dunno. I haven’t gotten that far yet. I’m still nervous about August.

Did you notice that the clouds came back? All of ‘em. Thunderstorms in the forecast. Rumbling in the distance now. Would the world come to an end if we went more than 2 days without rain?!?! My fence is still saturated and it surely won’t get painted in that condition. We need 5 days in a row of No Rain!!!

United States   Posted by Kate on 07/01/06  at  07:10 PM





cyn

Well, one of mine left (the easy one)--came home after college, worked, lived here for about 6 months and then moved to DC and never looked back--at the time he said, “it was getting too easy, too comfortable, for me to live here” and so he knew it was time to move on.” He comes home for visits, never too long and off he goes again.  The other one, my nemesis -LOL - suffers from the boomerang disease........he is here, he is gone, he is back, he is gone, he comes back.  I keep explaining the concept of MOVING OUT and coming home to VISIT.  But it doesn’t work. His assumption is we have a big house, with 3 empty bedrooms and he sees no reason why he should not be using one of the empty ones.  I see LOTS of reasons!!  Oh well.........he does have a point but I would be much happier if he were living say on the West Coast!! However, we hope to sell this place within 3-5 years and then that is it. So, hopefully before then he settles into something somewhere else!!  HA!

We did not have thunder or hint of yesterday, today is cloudy and breezy, but so far still nice.  Yesterday was nearly perfect, really (nearly because the idiot who moved in next door had a wood chipper going ALL DAY LONG which did not make for a nice quiet, lazy day.  But you are right, we can’t go more than 2 days without some change in weather patterns.  Our deck is suffering from the same problem as your fence.  October maybe??

United States   Posted by cyn on 07/02/06  at  07:59 AM





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