Be a Good American

Well, that didn’t take long.

Last month, Dunkin Donuts was acquired by a consortium of private equity firms, among them Carlyle Group. The acquisition is now complete and today Dunkin Donuts launched what they’re calling their Most Significant Repositioning Effort in the Company’s History that focuses on...what else...American Values.

Oh barf.

American Values of Hard Work and Fun, to be precise. Did you know that HARD WORK and FUN (TM) were values exclusive to Americans? Me, either.

Part of this campaign revolves around the kick that DD coffee provides. It’s the fuel for the American spirit. It’s the Fuel for that Can Do Spirit. Without that jolt of caffeine and a sugar high we’re lumps of inertia, I guess.

According to DD’s new press release:

Visually, the ad campaign comes to life through a set of interactive icons that represent the campaign tagline - “America Runs on Dunkin’.” The icons help to drive the concept that Dunkin’ Donuts’ freshly-made coffee and baked goods energize Americans from all walks of life so they can keep the country running on their dedicated hard work and positive outlooks. The campaign pays homage to those who embody the authentic spirit on which America was founded, as everyday people are shown bringing their honesty, enterprising creativity and good humor to their work, families and communities.

With a Dunkin Donuts logo in easy reach, of course.

So, be a good American and buy Dunkin today.

I’m so disgusted.