The Sending of the Passport

Well, that was interesting.

I showed up at the Fed Ex office and presented the clerk with the small kraft paper envelope that held the passport. I told him that I wanted to send it overnight express to Puerto Rico. He handed me a form to fill out. So far, so good.

I handed the form back to him and he asked, “What are you sending?

“A document,” I said.

“What kind of a document?” he asked.

“A passport,” I said.

“I beg your pardon,” he said. “Whose passport?”

“My son’s passport. He’s vacationing in Puerto Rico this week and forgot it.”

The clerk immediately got all sniffy. “We can’t send it without a telephone number. And a contact person.”

I said that I didn’t really know either one.

“Well, what is this address?” he asked. “Where did you get it?”

So, in the space of three minutes, I pretty much gave him a rundown on the lad’s family history and how it is he happens to be in Puerto Rico. His step-mom is working for her Dad and the family went down to spend time with her during school break. The address is their business address, I think, but I’m not exactly sure. Yes, I do know her Dad’s name. Why does it matter? Oh, you mean you can look up the phone number? Cool.

The clerk went to talk with someone else and they disappeared for a few minutes. The other someone, a supervisor, came back and said that they wouldn’t guarantee the package’s delivery unless I came up with a real phone number and a real contact person. If I’m sending something as important as a passport, shouldn’t I know who I’m sending it to?? No, we can’t send it without a contact person and a phone number, he told me.

So I went back home and called the Dad on his cell phone and told him to please give me a contact person and a phone number and some sort of explanation of what kind of building this address was and how his wife and her father are related to it. Why? Because if you want to see the frickin passport, you’ll tell me or the FedEx office may just drag me away in chains or something. They’re being really sniffy and suspicious about it. He gave me the information without delay.

Back I went to the Fed Ex office. The clerk and his supervisor came out, and the supervisor had a sheaf of papers in his hand. While I’d been away, they’d done a search on the step-mom’s dad. The supervisor presented me with an article about his business, the building to which I was sending the passport, and information concerning a large multi-million dollar business venture that he’s beginning. And the article pointed out that he is an American citizen and provided some of his history as well. Very, very good thing for me that all the names matched up, I guess.

The supervisor’s demeanor was quite changed and he was suddenly very helpful. The contact person was the step-mom and the phone number was her cell phone number. Quite acceptable, even with a Boston area code. No problems at all. Glad to do business with me.

And he printed out a tracking number page for me to email to the step-mom. The package will be on it’s way shortly and all should be well. I hope.

But tell me, what the hell was that all about?! I know Google is a wonderful thing, but you could have knocked me over with a feather when the supervisor handed me that article. I was absolutely stunned. The world is becoming a crazier and crazier place. Guarantee one thing, though, we’ll never forget the danged passport again.