Cider Press Hill

Another dozen gray hairs

The lad’s English teacher is teaching dystopian novels this semester. Currently, her class is divided into small groups, with each group assigned a novel. The lad’s group has Jennifer Government by Max Barry. Each group is to write a movie trailer script for their book and film it.

In the next week, I think the town may be convinced that a bunch of young anarchists have taken over. If they aren’t all arrested first. Which is not an idle fear. And which makes me wonder if the teacher has rocks in her head.

For example, take the major plot line in Jennifer Government: In a dystopian world in which there is no real government anymore and in which capitalizm has virtually replaced government and law doesn’t really exist, a young marketing executive named John Nike, who works for Nike, comes up with a marketing plan designed to give his company’s new shoes instant “street cred” by shooting 10 teenagers in front of stores selling the new shoes, making the victims look like ‘ghetto kids’, stealing their shoes and, voila, the shoes have instant status.

It’s a scene that has to go in the trailer. Where does one film a scene like that? Why, downtown in front of stores, of course.

With paint ball guns, of course.

Sez I to the lad, “Have you thought this through? What are people going to do when they see a small group of teenagers chasing each other around and screaming scary things while pointing scary, realistic looking weapons at each other? What is the mommy with her little kids in the sand pit and play area going to do when you scare them half to death? If she has a cell phone, she’s going to call the police. If she doesn’t have a cell phone, someone else will.”

Sez the lad to me, “It’ll be fine. We’ll stick signs around or something.”

Sez I to the lad, “Maybe you and I aren’t living on the same planet, but on the one where I live, young people really do shoot each other with real weapons. And people are super edgy about that these days. This is a really, really bad idea. You’d probably be breaking at least a half dozen laws and freaking out a lot of people.”

And you know, he still thinks I’m over-reacting.

I told him that he has to contact the police department and lay the whole plan out for them and ask what hoops they have to jump through. If the cops say it’s out of the question, then it’s out of the question. If for some unfathomable reason the department allows it, then I want it in writing.

And boy is he still mad at me this morning. Eighteen does not mean all grown up. I want to wring this teacher’s neck. The very nature of dystopias would suggest that they wouldn’t lend themselves easily to this kind of project in a village with, you know, laws.

I wonder what the group with The Handmaid’s Tale plans to put in their trailer!

Posted on 11/18/05 at 06:59 AM
 




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