Cider Press Hill

What ever happened to being a kid?

Last night the lad finally dragged himself home after a long, long couple of days. The long day that wouldn’t end began for him on Saturday. He had a track meet in the morning. From there he had to go directly to work for a 6 hour shift. From there he went directly to his Dad’s house. He and his bros were up quite late. Then Sunday morning broke with all the scurry to get to Mass. Then the Dad and the lad spent the afternoon on line scheduling the lad’s SAT exams and review classes. Then it was off to their Super Bowl party. (The lad won a Patriots Super Bowl jersey which his ultra Patriot’s fan brother thought was totally wasted on a non-fan—heh!). Late to bed for the lad and up at 4:30 to get ready to drive back up here in time for school. After a full day of school, he got in his track practice, then put on his techie hat and spent the next 6 hours beginning the sound and lights prep work for the upcoming drama production this weekend. The late nights will go on all week. He arrived home around 10:30 last night, looking like a zombie. Then sat down to do homework. He didn’t look much better this morning, either.

I don’t remember life being that nuts when I was his age. In fact, I know it wasn’t. I wonder a lot lately whether these kids are going to be burned out shells by the time they reach 30. If not before. We’ve had the discussion...why are you doing this to yourself? Slow down a little. And his response? I have to do this if I want to get into a good school. Good grades aren’t enough anymore. Gotta have the job, the extra curricular activities. And now he even has an internship at the newspaper. This is what he’s being told at school. That’s his reality. I don’t agree with it, but my opinion is totally outnumbered here. Maybe it is the new reality. I think it’s kind of scary and I really do worry about him burning out before he even gets out in the world. And he’s hardly alone in this insane drive to do it all. Because that is what they are told is expected of them in order to succeed. It’s drummed into their heads early and often. And, as a parent, I feel completely helpless. I hate it.

Posted on 02/08/05 at 08:44 AM
 




steph

The way I remember this, you work your ass off in high school, and then you spend your freshman year in college recovering.  You’ve only got 3 or 4 classes, and they don’t meet every day, and they’re just not hard.  So there’s plenty of time to drink beer and drink beer and drink beer (oh, and join clubs and do sports and chase the opposite sex).  And then just when you’re thinking, “Right, I can do this”, you hit sophomore slump.

Netherlands   Posted by steph on 02/08/05  at  10:12 AM





Dave

Benjamin Hoff made an interesting observation in ‘The Tao of Pooh’ that relates to this.  He opined that as mental/emotional creatures, we’re build for a long childhood, a short adolescence, then a graceful slide into adulthood.  Yet the educational system is built for a VERY short childhood, and a direct jump to adulthood. 

The net effect of this is a shortened childhood, and a prolonged adolescence, from which some people never recover.  As steph said, the first year of college is usually recovery from high school.  As long as he keeps it in check, and maintains a balance between recovery and transition to a college student, The Lad will be fine.

Also, you could get on his calendar, schedule some mom-time with some pressure releasing activities in mind.  (movies, board games, cards, picnics when the weather warms up.) Even if it’s just every so often, it can help tremendously.

Sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders.  He’ll be OK.

United States   Posted by Dave on 02/08/05  at  10:49 AM





Kate

Yes, by my calculations, childhood ended around 7th grade. As far as the school was concerned. A little premature, in my opinion.

We do try to schedule a pizza and TV night where we catch up on The Simpsons and Medium and House, which are favorites of ours. It’s just total mindless relaxation that I think gives him the recharge to slide into the home stretch each week. He probably won’t have the time this week, but I do try to make it a weekly thing. Every now and again I also proclaim a mental health day where he can sleep in and then veg for a day. Every little bit helps.

United States   Posted by Kate on 02/08/05  at  01:24 PM





Kate

Freshman college year is FREEDOM. It takes a year to learn to handle it. I just ask that he doesn’t flunk out before he figures it out. The freedom is so intoxicating. Hopefully more emotionally than in reality. ;)

United States   Posted by Kate on 02/08/05  at  01:26 PM





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