I have worked retail off and on over the years and have seen this happen a few times.  Several times the customer simply could not read or write much more than being able to sign the check.  Some were more mentally challenged, but able to cope.  Back in the late 80’s I had a friend who worked with moderately mentally handicapped individuals and she started a live-in program, limited to 8 to 10 persons, with the express purpose of teaching these people how to cope with the everyday mundane things which we take for granted, such as writing a check.  I still admire Debbie very much for being able to do this.

The insensitivity of people simply astounds me, and this is something I have been thinking about lately because I work with someone like this in my part time job.  There is another co-worker who, to me, exhibits the characteristics of having had something of a mild stroke, but Jim doesn’t seem to understand that a head injury is a unique circumstance and this person has little control over her actions and mannerisms.  I have been thinking of this a lot lately, and I think that the next time he says something disparaging I’m going to have to speak up.

The level of rude, impatient behaviour in shoppers is becoming phenomenal.  I see it just about every time I’m out now and it sickens me. 

There are lots of reasons why this poor lad might have been struggling with his cheque, besides the ones you and the comment above mentioned.  It might have been something as simple as a not yet healed injury to his arm or hand that made writing difficult.  Another possibility is extreme social anxiety, as I’ve seen in two members of my family.  I’ve taken over cheque writing duties when out with both my mom and one of my sisters as they struggle to do it in public.  They just freeze and can’t seem to get the pen to work.  Then they become even more self-conscious as the people in line behind them show impatience and it’s game over. 

I saw something the other day that really, really amused me, though.  I was third in line at Tim Horton’s and the person at the counter was lightening the load of change in his pocket while paying for his purchase.  He was in the process of counting out quarters and dollar coins when he noticed the sighs and “Oh for God’s sake, get on with it” coming from the lout between us in the line.  The guy at the counter threw the lout a look, then proceeded to dump out his change purse, too, took back the quarters and dollar coins, and started to count out nickels and dimes.  That brought a sigh from the girl serving him, and more rudeness from behind, so he took the dimes back and got rid of all of his pennies and nickels before moving on to the dimes!  Another server came out and got a second line going, but Stephanie and I stayed behind the guy with the pennies, just on principle. You should have seen the look on the server’s face when it was our turn and Stephanie wickedly put a handful of small change on the counter and started counting.  I actually paid for our purchase, and the girl serving us did get the joke, but I’ll bet that it’s awhile before she sighs at a customer again.

My friend is 26 years old and recovering from a recent stroke.  The continuing effects of her brain injury makes the physical effort of writing a chore, I’m not sure if it’s a muscular problem or that her brain isn’t connected in the same way as before.  Like that man you saw, she won’t do it in public unless she absolutely has to...people are particularly cruel and she gets embarassed and feels ashamed when she’s treated badly.

Karan makes my point succinctly about head injury.and its effect on both the victim as well as those around them.  Most people don’t realize that each and every head injury is a unique experience and the repercussions are different for each injury for both the victim and the family.

My wife was in an auto accident 7 years ago and spent 4 months in the hospital (5 weeks in a coma) recovering and going through rehabilitation, so I live with this reality each and every day, and, believe me, it is often a struggle.  I gained a great deal of respect for those health care professionals who deal with head injury on a daily basis.

Thank you, each one of you for writing about this. I don’t know anyone personally who has suffered this kind of injury or who has this kind of disability. So, no, I don’t personally know what it’s like to live with it day in and day out.

But this episode was a small window looking into someone’s life, someone who had some kind of disability.

And it horrified me to hear what people were capable of saying in front of him.

That’s also a part of living with a disability that no one talks about very much. People are cruel, either because of insensitivity or ignorance or both. It really troubled me.

I was equally troubled that I didn’t say anything to shut the people in front of me up. And I don’t think it needed to be a major confrontation. Just a quiet word or two.